how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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