its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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