Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
