im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
