Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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