no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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