i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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