OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
