butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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