maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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