Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
