thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
