oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
