I hate all girls vehemently.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
