Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
