me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
