Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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