too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
