Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
