Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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