there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
