Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
