Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I want her autograph on my taint
So squirting runs in the family.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
