Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
