thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I could fuck to npr.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
