there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
