i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
