You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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