Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
