Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
being pregnant is like rehab
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Randomize
