K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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