So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
