I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
