i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
please come you make the beer taste better
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
