Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Randomize
