Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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