i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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