Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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