Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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