Sponge bath it is.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
