I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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