at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
