honey bunches of taint.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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