she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
