why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
