Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I want to be your penis for a week.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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