I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
