i was born a porn star she said
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
