You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
