Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
