Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
