The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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