she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You brought string cheese to the strip club
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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